I Live Alone

True for about some percentage of readers. For others it may be named Me Time or even I Made the Choice. The title came from a comment made by a woman of a certain age on the 4th of July gathering. Not me, and she will remain nameless. That phrase resonated. In the way of wandering conversations, we were discussing favorite brands of peanut butter and the recall of certain jars of Skippy. Said person announced that at times she only ate lunch at the retirement dining hall and at night piled in bed with a spoon, a jar of Skippy’s on one side and a jar of grape jelly on the other, alternating spoonfuls. Sudden silence and a circle of disbelieving faces turned toward her. She straightened her shoulders, “I live alone!. I do keep an extra clean jar in case I have company.” The reasoning was perfect.

Another maybe cliche is ,”You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.” Alone doesn’t have to mean lonely. It just means YOU organize time the outsider doesn’t have to know. In thinking about this, I went back to 1973 when our youngest was five and I was 37. For nine years, I had planned doing and sharing around three various young ages plus a husband That September, I took that last one to the first day of kindergarten. There was no clinging on her part, and I was there mainly to fill out papers. Some young mothers and unsure children were in tears or at least encouraging one another. One younger woman said to me, “What will you do now?” Very truthfully I replied,, “I’m going home, sit at the kitchen table, take out a cold bottled Coke, pour in a package of salty peanuts, and enjoy it all by myself!”

All of this I thought of as I moved this day forward, making a list and rearranging. I could write in advance of two happenings next week. They probably will be more interesting after the fact. The garbage had to go out and who takes if not me. I can count the back and forth as steps for the day. Then it was to wash sheets day with the anticipation of clean ones tonight. While the machine made its familiar noise, I sat uninterrupted in the rocking chair with coffee while praying over what had come and what I hoped would be. Finally, here I am, breakfasted and ready to be alone and satisfied with a day. Whether a group of one or of five, may you find your Coke moment, remembering never alone is always our statement.