Defining began with son’s lecture on not falling and my response that falling is never on purpose. By any definition, falling is always an accident. Then the rabbit hole appeared. We older people are more libel to fall. I thought back to years ago and my being in Coventry, England. Research and Google did show the memory of a cross the street sign with a bent over man holding a cane. Behind him holding his arm was a smaller woman. I couldn’t find the proof, but my memory sees the defining sign “WOBBLIES CROSSING” Age moving slowly is definitely wobbly. In 2015 a movement began to remove these signs. Maybe true, yet offensive.
When I emerged from the rabbit hole to daylight, I began to notice words that used to define me no longer do. Early in life by someone else’s complaint I had to move away from man, men, and mankind. Society and community are acceptable and I sing Good Christians Now Rejoice. A mailman delivered our letters to Pine Street. in Hammond ,Louisiana. I was in school with his sister. Now the definitely female who talks on her cell phone as she lifts the lid to my mailbox is a mailperson or a postal carrier. The petit blond in a short shirt whose presence is important to the story on the stage in front of you is an actor. The -ess that used to define has fallen down the rabbit hole. For secretary, teacher, and engineer, one may need to wait for help to decide which pronoun to use in the sentence. Forget pronoun choices….I’m disappearing underground again.
I am left with a few specifics for me, just as you cling to those that give you life and meaning. When I am with those I cherish most I am a daughter, an aunt, a niece. For 56 years I was a wife with rights and privileges there of and widow opens the window to a whole new story. Once, I checked behind a grocery cart I was pushing and no small body was following me. From the far end of the aisle a familiar voice called, “Mother!” That call identified who I was in a Family, the larger group where I always have a place.
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.
1 John 3:1
Let Me Tell Ya 